


lucky charms are NOT magically delicious

by smolbagu, tolbaguette



Series: no homo tho [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Kleinsen, Love Confessions, M/M, Pizza Rolls, Sick Character, Soulmates, as usual, evan is such a mom, puking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 15:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolbagu/pseuds/smolbagu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tolbaguette/pseuds/tolbaguette
Summary: Lucky Charms aren’t magically delicious. They are just a box full of lies. They make you throw up your insides every fifteen minutes-- well, at least that’s where Jared is on this fine Monday morning.orJared gets sick and Evan skips school to nurse him back to health.





	lucky charms are NOT magically delicious

Lucky Charms aren’t magically delicious. They are just a box full of  **lies** . They make you throw up your insides every fifteen minutes-- well, at least that’s where Jared is on this fine Monday morning. So here he is, leaned over a toilet, presumably dying. He had thrown up like five times since he woke up due to him eating that entire box of expired lucky charms. He honestly felt like ass, (  _ lol you are what you eat amirite??  _ ) and he definitely wasn’t going to school, which had started like, five minutes ago. God, Evan was probably losing his shit.

 

**FYI** , Evan was losing his shit. He had been worried all morning. Jared didn’t pick him up that morning, and didn’t call him back (  _ after he called SEVEN times ).  _ Basically, Evan was not having it. So after first period, Evan locked himself in one of the one-person bathrooms and tried calling Jared again. 

 

After a few rings, Jared picked up with a strained, “hello..?”

 

“Where the  **heck** are you? Areyouokay??” 

 

“Woah- Evan, I’m fine. I just don’t feel good, so I’m staying home.” Jared said, adjusting himself away from the toilet and against the bathroom door. 

 

There was a moment of silence before Evan responded with, “I’m coming over.”

 

“Dude, no, you can’t skip i’m fin-” Jared was cut off with the urge to puke, which he did after scrambling to the toilet. “-fine.”

 

Evan wasn’t going to change his mind, “I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Evan said, ending the call before Jared could say anything else. After that he left school and started walking to Jared’s house as fast as he could.

 

Once Evan got to Jared’s house, he just walked in. He knew that Jared’s parents weren’t home and Jared was probably stuck in the bathroom. So upon arriving, he went straight to the bathroom, opening the door and dropping down to wrap his arms around the other boy. “Hey, i’m here now.” He said trying to be comforting to the sick child. 

 

Jared leaned back into Evan’s embrace. He was shaking due to being sick and puking up nothing. “My mouth tastes like acid and regret.” He muttered, wiping his mouth on toilet paper and flushing the toilet before fully leaning back into Evan.

 

Evan comfortingly rubbed Jared’s shoulders before squeezing him a bit, “Hey, let’s get you to bed and I’ll get you some water.. Yeah?” To which Jared nodded and said, “Yeah, okay.”

 

Evan smiled slightly and helped Jared up before leading him to his room. Once there, Jared curled up on his bed, “I’ll be right back.” Evan assured him, walking away to get Jared a bottle of water and some crackers that he could eat. 

After a few minutes, Evan returned and handed Jared the bottle of water and set the sleeve of crackers on the bed, “You should eat those, they might help your stomach.” Evan said. God, he is such a mom. Jared lightly sipped the water, “Maybe, not right now.”

 

Evan nodded, sitting on the end of Jared’s bed to give him his space, “You s-should really eat, jare. Your body is lacking nutrients. You’re a growing boy, nutrients help you grow. yOu neeD to gROW!” 

 

Jared stared at Evan, “I’m not a plant, Evan. I’ll eat later, just, not right now. Not when there’s a ninety nine point nine percent that it’ll come up right after.” 

 

Evan huffed and puffed his cheeks slightly, knitting his brows together, “I didn’t say that you were a plant.” He muttered softly before adding a small, “but, alright.” Jared sipped the water again before putting it down next to the crackers. “You know you didn’t have to skip for me,. I would’ve been fine on my own.” 

 

“Jared, I’m staying with you. Besides, I didn’t want to go to school without you, ho.” 

 

“.. did you just call me a ho?”

 

Evan pressed his lips together before saying, “Yes. Yes I did.. Ho.”

 

“I’m proud.” Jared smiled, and then frowned and shuddered. Being sick sucks. He grabbed a blanket that was on his bed and wrapped himself in it. Evan frowned and gently placed a hand on Jared’s thigh comfortingly over the blanket. 

 

After a moment, Jared took Evan’s hand and tugged at it weakly, signaling that he wanted Evan closer to him. All he really wanted right now was some quality Evan cuddles. And not to be sick, but you can’t always get what you want. Evan smiled and crawled up next to Jared, wrapping his body around his over the blanket; essentially making Jared the small spoon. 

 

Jared sighed and pressed his body back into Evan’s, “You’re amazing, you know that?”

 

Evan hummed slightly, burying his head into Jared’s shoulder, “No, you’re amazing.”

 

Jared snuggled into the blanket and Evan even more, “You’re amazing-er.”

 

“Nope.” Evan said shortly, kissing the back of Jared’s neck softly. He paused for a moment, “Jare, you’re burning up.”

 

“Am I that hot? Are you swooning yet?” Jared giggled before curling in on himself in pain. 

 

“I’m always swooning for you.” Evan said, running a hand through Jared’s hair, “Do you want some ibuprofen to break your fever?”

 

“I probably need some, but I don’t want you to leave.” He curled in on himself and groaned as more pain hit. “Go, I need it.” Evan nodded and kiss the back of his head softly before climbing out of Jared’s bed and going to retrieve the medicine. After a few minutes of searching, he returned back with a few pills in his hand. “Here,” he said, walking up to Jared’s side of the bed and holding out the pills for him.

 

Jared took the pills from Evan and then swallowed them dry before looking back at the boy, “Come, cuddle, i’m dying.” 

 

Evan snorted and walked to the other side of the bed, climbing on next to Jared and cuddling him again. He help Jared tightly against himself. Jared melted into Evan, “Thank you.” Evan squeezed Jared gently, “Anytime.” 

 

Jared hummed in response. He was a tired boy, from staying up late and throwing up a lot, so he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

 

Jared woke up later, he didn’t know how long he had slept, but he still felt like shit. Since he had no motivation to move, he tapped Evan’s arm to see if he was sleeping or not. 

 

“Hmm?” Evan said, half asleep and burying his head into Jared’s shoulder. 

 

“.. I’m hungry, but i’m sick. Send help please.” 

 

Evan woke up a lil bit more, “What do you want to eat?”

 

“Anything that isn’t lucky charms. I’m done with lucky charms.” 

 

Evan smiled against Jared’s shoulder and lifted his head a bit to press a kiss to the back of his neck before pulling away and getting up. “Have any pizza rolls?”

 

Jared scoffed, “I wouldn’t be Jared Kleinman if I didn’t.”

 

“Well, I was just wondering if your mom put you on that no pizza diet she was talking about with my mom,” Evan joked.

 

“I will kill a bitch.”

 

Evan snorted, “Be right back.” He said, leaving to make the said rolls. Jared hummed and watched Evan leave the room. When the door closed behind him he yelled, “yOUr MoM gAY!” To which, Evan yelled out a small, “yOur mOm tRIpLe gAy!” in return.

 

After a few minutes, He returned with a plate of microwaved pizza rolls for Jared, setting the plate on the bed before sitting down again. “Bon appetit.”

 

Jared sat up and set the plate on his lap, “Thanks.” He said as he started to nibble on a roll.  He felt slightly better, but only enough to stomach a little bit of food. While Jared was eating, Evan also pushed the crackers a lil bit closer to Jared. He knew they wouldn’t upset his stomach. He was such a mom.

 

After three rolls, Jared was starting to feel sicker. So, he stopped nibbling and took a sip of the water that was on his nightstand. Evan sunk into the bed, “you okay..?” He asked,

 

Jared weakly nodded, “Yeah, just, dying.” 

 

Evan sat up, “You need me to get you anything, jare?”

 

Jared shook his head, “No, I’m- I’m fine.” 

 

“Jare..” He looked at him, “Are you sure..?”

 

Jared swallowed thickly, “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s good, all good.”

 

Evan frowned. He wanted to push it but he knew Jared didn’t want him to. Instead, he just placed a hand on Jared’s thigh comfortingly. Jared looked over to Evan and smiled weakly. “You are sure that you’re okay, right? I can get you something if you need it.”

 

“Ev, i’m okay. It’s all okay.” He reassured Evan. Jared actually felt like horse shit though.

 

“Jared, no offense, but you look like shit.”

 

Jared looked up at Evan innocently, “.. Do I look like hot shit?”

 

“... yes.”

 

Jared grinned, “Thank you, I spend hours trying to achieve this look each and every day. I feel like hot shit.”

 

Evan rolled his eyes, “Seriously though, if you need anything just tell me, jare.” 

 

Jared took Evan’s hand in his own and drank some more water, “Yeah, yeah. I don’t need anything now though.” Evan looked down at their hands and nodded, “Alright..” He said, squeezing Jared’s hand slightly. Jared intertwined their fingers and also squeezed back a little bit. All he needed was Evan right now.

 

Jared admired Evan’s face for a moment, and then got a bad feeling. “Evan, i’m not okay.”

 

“.. like a pukey not okay..? Or an emotional not okay?”

 

“.. both, but more the first one. I’m- not okay.” Jared could feel his temperature rising, this won’t end well. 

 

“I- um- heck- okay,” He pulled himself out of bed, “Let’s get you to the bathroom.” Jared nodded in response and stumbled out of his bed, immediately heading towards the bathroom. Once in there, he collapsed over the toilet, leaning over it, ready to puke when the time comes. Evan crouched down next to Jared and rubbed his back, trying to be somewhat comforting. 

 

Jared puked out his insides soon after Evan started rubbing him. When his body decided he was done, he panted a little bit and laughed lightly into the toilet bowl. Evan papped Jared’s back lightly, “You alright, jare?”

 

Jared spit into the bowl, “Yeah, I’m fine, it’s all good.”’

 

Evan cringed slightly, “I’m going to go get your water, alright?”

 

“Yes, water, yes.” He said, tearing off some toilet paper to wipe his mouth. Evan nodded and left the room to go grab Jared’s water before coming back. Once he was back, he crouched down next to Jared and handed the water to him. Jared flushed and moved to lean against the sink cabinets, accepting the water and drinking a small bit. “My mouth tastes terrible, ew.”

 

“Maybe you should brush your teeth.” Evan suggesting, being a lil smartass.

 

“Later. I’m not going to ruin a perfectly good toothbrush, and I’m probably not even done dying yet.” 

 

“Jare, the toothbrush can be cleaned.” Evan reminded him as he shifted to shit in front of the boy.

 

“Ugh, fine.” Jared shakily pulled himself off the floor and faced the sink, staring at himself for a second, “ew. I look dead.” Evan stood up behind Jared, “You look beautiful,” Evan said before adding, “but also dead.” Jared blushed and grabbed his toothbrush and put paste on it. “I don’t deserve you.” 

 

“That’s not true.” Evan said because, well, it wasn’t. He got closer behind Jared and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind gently, placing his head on the boy’s shoulder. “Mm, but it is. I don’t deserve you.” Jared stuck the brush in his mouth. 

 

“Jared, shut up, You’re wrong.” Evan muttered, looking up at the mirror to see his boyf. Jared met Evan’s eyes in the mirror and winked before leaning down to spit into the sink. Evan rolled his eyes at Jared and pulled him arms away from his waist.

 

Jared finished brushing his teeth and turned around to face Evan, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you for skipping school to stay with me.” 

 

“No need to thank me, jare. I love you-” he paused.  _ Wait- did he just- _

 

“But I do- wait- you.. Love-?” Jared pulled away from Evan slightly to see his face.

 

“I-” Evan instantly looked away, hiding his face, “fuck- shit- sorry- I shouldn’t have said that. You’re sick and you probably don’t-”

 

“Evan-” Jared brought his hands to Evan’s face, forcing Ev to look at him. “I love you too. Yeah, we’ve only been dating for a little bit, but I’ve known you for over a decade. You- ugh- I fucking love you so much. I would kiss you but I’m sick as hell, so-” He reached up to press a sloppy kiss to Evan’s forehead. “I love you.”

 

Evan let out a breathy giggle and pressed his forehead against Jared’s for a moment. “I love you so much, you ho.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't proof read this lmao but have it you thirsty hos <33


End file.
